Beautiful Tragedy (A Standalone Romance Novel) Page 12

  Every so often, he would look at me and smile. There was something so intimate about that to me. It was just a smile, but he and I both knew that it was just for me, and I had to admit that I was coming around to the idea of dating him. Maybe it was being freed of my secret, maybe it was just because he was the hottest guy around, and maybe it was because he proved over and over what an amazing and kind spirit he had. I’m not sure what prompted the change, but I knew all of a sudden if he tried to kiss me again, I was going to let him.

  They played about five songs and then Joe said they were going to take a ten minute break. Brock came straight over to our table, and I couldn’t help but notice the looks of envy most of the single girls in the club were throwing my way. He sat down next to me and opened a bottle of water he had in his hand. He downed more than half of it in one drink and then he leaned over and whispered in my ear. All he said was, “Have you been drinking enough water?”

  “Yes,” I told him, plenty. I wasn’t lying either. If drinking water was going to stop me from having to go back to the hospital, I’ll hook up the garden hose.

  “Why aren’t you dancing?” he asked me. “You look too pretty to just be sitting here.”

  I didn’t think about what I was saying, I just said, “Because the only person I want to dance with is on-stage tonight.” I heard it come out of my mouth, and I knew it to be the truth, but I was shocked that I’d actually said it.

  He smiled and leaned in close again. He put his lips near my ear once more and said, “Save one for me when we’re finished up, okay? The next band playing is pretty good.”

  I smiled and told him that I would. He saw Joe headed back for the stage so he went too. I watched him go, and then I realized that Megan was giggling. I looked at her and she and Jake looked extremely guilty.

  “What?” I said.

  Megan shrugged. “There’s a lot of whispering going on with you two,” she said.

  “He was talking to me. It’s loud in here,” I said. In our defense, it was the truth.

  “Jake says he used to sing a lot of hard rock and suddenly he’s all about the love song. Did you notice that Molly?” she asked me with another giggle.

  I was saved by the band that struck up once again. Megan and Jake went off to dance and I turned down three guys while they were gone. There was no reason for it, I just didn’t want to dance…with them. I was saving one, and we would see where that went.

  The band played three more songs, picking up the tempo a bit with Joe’s wife doing most of the singing. Brock sang with her for one of the songs, but for the rest he just played his guitar. I liked watching his face when he played. It was so intense, like his very life depended on getting every note just right. I watched him as he stepped up to the microphone. I thought he was getting ready to sing his last song, but then he said, “I want to dedicate this song to a very special person here tonight. I think she knows who she is, and if she doesn’t yet, I hope to convince her someday.

  Megan reached over and squeezed my arm. When I didn’t look back at her she said, “He was talking about you.”

  I laughed and said, “You think so?”

  Brock started singing then, and as I listened to the words and music, I realized he was doing “Somebody’s Heartbreak” by Hunter Hayes. It was one of my favorite songs, and now he was singing it to me. While he stood under the spotlights of the stage and crooned out the melody, I felt things inside of me that I didn’t even know existed. He carried the microphone to the edge of the stage and as he looked right at me he sang the lyrics.

  Megan and Jake went to dance again but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Brock. I could hardly catch my breath. Then, the unthinkable happened. I was staring across the room, up onto the stage, looking into Brock’s eyes when suddenly someone was standing directly in front of me. I looked up to tell whoever it was to move, or more accurately, to get the hell out of the way. Looking back at me was my ex-boyfriend Zack. I was stunned. I hadn’t seen him since just before I started school here and he had decided that he wasn’t up for the whole sick girlfriend thing. While he stood there, the last person in the world that I hoped to see, the song ended and Brocks beautiful voice stopped singing.

  “Hi Molly.”

  Hello, coward.

  “Hi Zack.”

  I didn’t see the need to be confrontational. Play nice for a minute and he’ll go away. After all, I already knew how good he was at walking away.

  “How are you? Are you still sick? Do you still have those nasty tumors on your kidney?”

  “I’m fine, thanks Zack. How are you?”

  He smiled, “I’m good. It’s really nice to see you. You look really pretty.”

  “Thanks,” I said.

  Now go away.

  “Hey Molly, are you okay?” Megan had walked up then.

  “I’m fine, Megan. You remember Zack?” Megan gave him a distasteful look, like there was something sour in her mouth.

  “Hi Megan!” he said with a big smile and way too much enthusiasm. Even if he wasn’t smart enough to figure out that I wasn’t happy to see him, he had to know without a doubt that she wasn’t.

  “Yeah, hey,” she said, dismissively. “Were you riding home with Brock tonight?” she said. Good ‘ole Megan.

  “Yeah, I think so,” I said. “I’m just waiting for him to finish up.”

  “Okay, Jake and I were going next door to get something to eat. You sure you don’t want to come with us, just until Brock’s ready?” She looked at Zack every time she said Brock’s name. I love this girl.

  “No thanks, Meg. He shouldn’t be long.” She hugged me and whispered, “Tell him to take a hike, a long one, off a cliff.” I laughed and said, “Don’t worry, I will.” When Megan left, Zack said, “Can I sit for a minute?” I started to say no, but then he said, “I just want five minutes Molly. I need to apologize to you for being such a big jerk.”

  “Okay,” I said. I liked hearing him call himself a big jerk.

  He sat down and said, “I loved being with you in high school, Molly. I haven’t been able to find anyone even remotely like you since. I miss you, and I never should have walked away.”

  “Thanks Zack,” I said. I appreciated the apology, for what it was worth. I mistakenly thought that was all, however. Then he went on. “My fraternity is having an after-party tonight. Why don’t you go with me?”

  “No thanks, Zack. I have plans.”

  “Okay, another time then? We could have dinner, catch up?”

  “Zack…What exactly is it that you want to catch up on?” I asked him. Things were fine between us until I got really sick, then he was gone. Does he really want to know how I fought it, got better and now have to start the fight all over again?

  “It would just be nice to talk and find out how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to….I miss you, Molly,” he said again.

  “I’m doing fine. I’m going to school and working….and I still have cancer Zack.”

  “Oh,” he said. Here we go. “You look so….healthy,” he said.

  “Looks can be deceiving like that. You can run away now, it’s okay. This time, Zack I won’t even bat an eye.”

  “Aw, come on Molly. I was a kid.”

  It was less than a year ago...but okay, sure…we were kids.

  “I was looking at getting out of high school and going on to have a great time in college…with you on my arm, Molly. Then I found out how sick you were and I freaked out. I didn’t know how to handle it….”

  “So you walked out on me when I needed you the most.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  BROCK

  “There was nothing I could do, right? You were in the hospital and me sitting by the bed watching you; well I just thought it would be pointless. Molly, I’m sorry. That was probably wrong…” That was when I walked up on this conversation. At first I held back, because I didn’t want to intrude…

  “You think, Zack?” Molly was saying. She sounded annoyed, and if I wasn
’t wrong, like she wanted him to go away.

  His face was red now. Good, at least he felt a little bit ashamed. “Give me a chance to make it up to you Molly. This time will be different, I promise.”

  “I don’t think so, Zack,” she said. “I’m not finished being sick. I wouldn’t want to spoil your college fun.” Nice sarcasm, she’s doing fine and as bad as I want to punch this guy I’m hanging back, letting her handle it.

  “Maybe we could just hang out, you know, date. We don’t have to get into anything serious.” Wow, this guy was a piece of work. She opened her mouth and then closed it right away. I could tell that she was shocked too and didn’t know what to say. I hope she doesn’t get mad at me, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any more.

  “She said she’s not interested.”

  Zack’s head snapped up and he looked at me standing behind Molly. She looked at me too, shocked. It looked like she was wondering how long I’d been standing there. I was hoping she didn’t mind me getting involved but I couldn’t hold back any longer.

  “Oh,” he said, standing up, looking back at Molly now, not at me. Then the big chicken-shit was saying, “Why didn’t you just say you had a boyfriend?”

  I still wanted to punch him, more so now that he was implying if she didn’t have a boyfriend she would be desperate enough to take him back.

  “I’m not lucky enough to be her boyfriend…yet,” I said. It was the truth, but I also wanted him to know that Molly didn’t need him, whether she had a boyfriend or not. “When or if I am, I guarantee you that I won’t tuck my balls and run the second that the going gets rough. I’m going to man up and be deserving of this fine, beautiful woman, unlike you. So run along cowardly pup and leave the lady be.”

  Zack’s face was bright red now. I think he was more pissed than embarrassed. He looked like the kind of guy who had been the high school jock, the homecoming king, the guy all the girls wanted to go to the prom with. Now here he was being told off by a musician. He looked like he wasn’t going to leave for just a second, but first he looked at Molly, who was grinning and then he sized me up one more time. Then, proving he was the biggest loser ever he said, “Call me if you ever want to hang out, Molly.” Molly and I watched him walk away. Both of us in awe of the guy’s nerve I think. Finally, we made eye contact and laughed.

  “I’m not even going to ask what you saw in that guy,” I said.

  She just grinned and said, “Thanks, because I don’t know if I could answer it. Is it okay if I hang out at your apartment with you for a while, tonight?”

  “Of course.” Yes please!

  She went on then to say, “I think Meg and Jake have plans and I really don’t want to sit in the room by myself tonight.”

  “Sure,” I said. “Although just for future information I would prefer something along the lines of, “I really can’t stand the thought of leaving you Brock; you’re so handsome and debonair. I can’t stand the thought of being away from you.”

  She laughed, “Debonair, really? I don’t think I’ve ever used that word in a sentence.”

  I have no idea where I heard it, probably an old movie. It sounded good though. She turned serious then and I forgot all the words as I listened to her say, “But handsome, you most definitely are. And your song to me….it gave me chills. And thank you for sticking up for me with Zack.” Now she looked like she wanted to kiss me. I thought about going in for it, but I remembered my promise to her. She would let me know when she was ready. My lips were aching.

  “That guy doesn’t deserve a woman like you,” I told her. Then I remembered something and said, “I have a present for you.”

  “A present? It’s not my birthday or anything.”

  “It’s not a big deal. Just something I saw and thought of you,” I told her. “It’s in my bag on Suzie. But first…don’t you owe me a dance?”

  “I believe I do,” she said. I led her out to the dance floor, timing it again when a slow song was playing. Go me! When we found an open spot, I turned to face her and pulled her into my chest. This time was different though, instead of holding onto my hands and leaning back somewhat, she had her head against my chest, one hand in mine, and the other on my shoulder. She felt so good against me like this, and without thinking I stooped over just a bit and I rested the side of my face against her head. I loved the way her silky hair felt against the side of my face, and of course I loved the way it smelled. The only problem with any of it was that the stupid song ended way too soon. It was so damned hard to let go.

  “Thank you,” I told her with a smile.

  “Thank you,” she told me. “I had such a great time listening to you play and sing tonight. You really are very good.”

  I don’t admit this out loud, but I’m kind of a conceited guy. It’s not that I think I’m better than anyone else, or that I deserve more because I’m kind of good-looking and I can sing. But I know what my assets are, and because of being sick, and the deficits that brought with it, I’ve learned to use my assets to my advantage. Long story short, I wasn’t usually fazed by praise. I usually already knew what they were telling me about myself. With Molly though, like everything else I guess, it was different. Her praise went straight to a place of honor in my head and in my heart.

  “Thank you,” I told her. “I’m really glad you came. Let’s go get your present.”

  When we got to the bike I took the present out and handed it to her. It was wrapped in tissue paper.

  “Can I open it?” she said. She was cute, like a little kid at Christmas time.

  I nodded and smiled and she ripped off the paper. I felt bad at first, because as she saw it, tears sprung to her pretty brown eyes.

  “Oh, Brock!” she said, and then she surprised us both I think by throwing her arms around me and giving me a hug. It was our first official hug…I think.

  “It’s the most thoughtful present anyone has ever gotten for me.”

  There’s a scene in Benny and Joon, where he puts an old Jack-in-the-Box on her front doorstep and knocks so when she opens it there’s nothing there but the box. It’s a really cute scene, and one of her favorites. The box was exactly the same and it looked about fifty years old.

  “I saw it in the window of the antique store by the university and I thought of you instantly,” I told her, honestly, with a grin. I was glad she liked it so much.

  “I love it, thank you.”

  I handed her the helmet she wore when we rode Suzie and we climbed on the bike. Feeling her hold on to me as we rode has always been a great feeling, but tonight seemed different somehow. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was, but it felt…safe, and warm and comfortable. I liked it…a lot.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  MOLLY

  While we were riding back to Brock’s apartment I had all kinds of things racing through my brain. First of all, I had been appalled at Zack’s nerve, to think I would have any interest in getting back together with him at all. I was really proud of Brock, and he even phrased what he said to make it look like I wasn’t some helpless little female that needed him to come to my rescue. He had wanted to do it. Go Brock!

  Between him sticking up for me, and buying me a present, something inside of me shifted. It wasn’t the fact that he bought me any present, I’m not that easily bought, trust me. It was just that particular present. That told me that he wasn’t just trying to buy me or impress me the way another guy might with flowers or jewelry. What it said was that he really had to just be thinking about me when he walked past that store. I wasn’t just saying so when I told him either, this was the absolute most thoughtful gift I had ever gotten. I will cherish it forever, my forever, however long that might be.

  When we got to the apartment he offered me something to drink. I jokingly said…

  “Coffee?”

  He gave me a look, and I wondered if my grandmother had taught him that. I quickly laughed so that he knew I was joking and told him water would be fine. I sat on the couch while he fi
xed it and I did some soul searching. I wanted him to kiss me tonight…No, that’s not right. I did want him to kiss me, but I didn’t want him to stop there. I wanted him to make love to me. I wanted to feel myself in his arms and I wanted it to last all night. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden tonight it dawned on me that I was ready. I think it was seeing Zack again, kind of. It made me remember that Brock was kind and patient with me before he knew I was sick, and now that he knows, he’s still treating me like me. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact he’s been through it all before himself, but whatever it is…I know now that I’m falling for him. Even if it doesn’t last forever…my forever, I know now that I’m blessed just for having known him for a little while. I guess I also have to admit that after talking to Dr. Harris, I was also thinking about my own mortality. If I have to leave sometime soon, I at least want it to be with the memories of being in Brock’s warm, loving arms at least once.

  He came back with the water and asked if I wanted to watch a movie. I considered just blurting out what was on my mind, but thank you God for filters, I thought better of it. I wanted him, but I didn’t want to sound as desperate and in need as I suddenly felt. He put on a movie and I honestly don’t even know what it was. It was like Brock and I were abruptly transported into a vacuum and nothing or no one else was around, or even mattered.

  I looked up at him, and he was looking at me. I could see the desire there, and I didn’t want to fight it anymore. I put my hand on the side of his face, and I felt him shudder. It was almost a powerful kind of feeling that my hand could elicit such a strong reaction. I slipped my hand around to the back of his neck and as I pulled him down towards me, I saw the look of surprise in his blue eyes. After that, I closed mine and reveled in the feeling of his soft lips as his mouth crushed down over mine. We kissed with an intensity like nothing I had ever felt, and I knew now what romance novels were talking about when they said things like, “It took my breath away.” I literally couldn’t breathe, and the funny thing was that I didn’t care. I would gladly give it all up for the chance to stay in his arms with our lips pressed together like this forever.