Beautiful Tragedy (A Standalone Romance Novel) Read online

  When at last he had to take a breath, he pulled his head up, and in a winded voice he said, “Are you okay? I shouldn’t have…I mean I should have asked you…”

  I smiled and told him, “It may have been hard to ask my permission when I was attacking you.”

  He laughed, “Okay, good. For a minute there I wasn’t sure how that happened. I thought, kiss now, and think later.”

  “Me too,” I told him. “But now that we’ve stopped kissing and I’ve had time to think…I don’t want to think, I want to kiss some more.”

  I didn’t have to tell him twice. His lips were against mine again, and this time I felt him using his tongue to part mine. My hands were now clutching tightly around his head, my fingers wrapped up in his hair, and I was pulling him into me, afraid that he was going to stop. We explored each other’s mouths with our tongues, every once in a while Brock would stop to allow us to breathe and he’d use his tongue to softly trace my lips. That sent goosebumps like tiny little beacons of pleasure scurrying down my spine and out to every part of my body.

  He had one hand on my waist, and the other on the back of my neck, pulling me into him as well. My skin was hot wherever he touched me, even through my clothes. I could feel the hand on my waist, inching my blouse up a little, just enough so that he could have contact with my bare skin. When he did, I felt him shudder again, and it was like touching a torch to a stick of dynamite. I used the hand that still held onto his head for leverage and I pulled myself up into his lap. That was when he stopped again. He pressed his forehead to mine so we were eye to eye as we panted and tried to catch our breath. When he had control of his once more he said, “Molly, we need to stop. If we go any further…”

  Emboldened by the fact that I was now sitting on his lap with his strong arms around me, I said, “I don’t want to stop.” I never noticed before, how his eyes changed color, or maybe I had just never been this close to them before. But right now they were shifting from their normal beautiful light blue to a dark, intense one.

  “You don’t have to do this Molly. I want to be with you…so bad. But it doesn’t have to be now. I’ll wait for you, as long as you need me to.”

  “I don’t want to wait any longer,” I told him. “I want you now, Brock. I’m sure. No worries, okay?”

  He still looked a little worried, but I could tell that the hormones were driving him even harder. He kissed me again, and as we kissed I felt his hand begin to fondle the buttons on my blouse. He wasn’t undoing them; he was just…touching each one of them as if he were still trying to figure out whether or not we should do this. He was worried about me, and that was sweet and for a guy his age, downright amazing. But I was on fire, and I didn’t want him changing his mind because he was afraid that I would have regrets. As his lips slid from my lips down to my neck, I made the decision for him. With one hand I continued to caress his soft hair as he kissed me, and with the other I undid the buttons on my blouse. When I was finished and it was open to where, when he opened his eyes, he was looking right down into my lacy pink bra, I felt the muscles in his arms go taut and he sucked in a breath that reverberated through him.

  He put his hot lips on my shoulder then, and kissed each one as he pushed the blouse the rest of the way off down my arms. He stopped again for like half a second and this time I only nodded. He slipped his hand around my back and unfastened my bra. He made a low growling kind of sound deep in his throat as my breasts spilled out and then he said, “Let’s go in the bedroom.” I was glad he had thought of it. Jake and I were already too close, seeing each other in a compromising position might take it further than either of us wanted. I stood up, feeling slightly embarrassed by the fact that I was completely exposed. But the look in his eyes was enough to convince me that I wanted him to see me, and touch me.

  He led me to the bedroom by my hand and shut and locked the door behind us. He tossed my blouse and bra that he had kindly picked up and brought with us aside, and then he took me in his arms again, crushing my naked breasts against his chest this time as we kissed. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged on it. When it got up over his abdomen, he stopped kissing me long enough to pull it over his head and allow it to join my clothes on the floor. He just looked at me then, the light wasn’t on, but there was enough moonlight coming through the blinds that I could see how beautiful he was. He touched me, softly just above one of my breasts and then traced his finger across and around them as he said in a husky voice, “Molly, you’re the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen.”

  I shuddered at that, or at what he was now doing to my breasts with his fingers, or both. He kissed me again on my lips, this time leading me backwards towards the bed. Before he laid me down, he unhooked my skirt and let it fall to my ankles. I kicked it the rest of the way off as I lay down and I watched as he unfastened his jeans and let them fall to the floor. He lay down next to me then, kissed my lips and then my neck and then my breast. Then he used his lips to brush over the nipple softly, sending another electric shock coursing through me. I lay there in ecstasy for the next fifteen or twenty minutes while he explored my body, moaning and shuddering sometimes as if he were the one being pleasured. I was doing some moaning of my own though, and when I finally couldn’t stand it any longer I took both sides of his face in my hands and guided him back up to my lips. While we were kissing I felt his hand drifting down again across my collarbone and then my stomach, down to the line where my panties began. He traced them, softly, erotically, driving me mad once again. Then he moved his hand down to my thigh and he ran his fingers up one and down the other, each time coming closer to touching the spot in the middle that would drive me over the edge.

  I ran my fingers down his back as he caressed me, careful not to dig too deep and put my nails into him, until at last he did go up far enough to slip his hand underneath the edge of my panties. He sighed as he felt my wetness, and I tensed up every muscle in my body as I felt his fingers caressing me there. It was a surreal feeling almost, and I lost myself in it. The sounds coming from low in my throat didn’t even sound like my own voice as I moved my hips on the bed under his touch. I reached over then, and I touched him through his boxer shorts. I had never felt a man before; it was surreal, but it felt so right and it drove me to want more. I was shocked by my own boldness as I slipped my hand down across his hard abdomen and into the top of his shorts. I felt his body jump almost convulsively and I thought I had done something wrong, but when I started to take my hand away he led it back to where it had been. We lay there like that for a while, just touching and discovering each other. Then in one swift move, Brock lost his shorts, and removed my panties, the last two barriers between us. He lifted himself up on his strong arms and I traced the outline of the tattoos on them as I looked into his pretty eyes. He asked me one more time before slipping on the condom that had suddenly appeared in his hand, “Molly, are you sure?” I nodded. I was sure, a thousand times so. He was so gentle as he worked himself into me. I hadn’t told him I was a virgin, but I’m sure it wasn’t hard to figure out. I had heard so much about the pain that at that second I was nervous, but then I felt him nudge through to where he needed to be and we were suddenly both plunging head first off of the edge of the virtual cliff we had been dangling from. As we moved our hips together, he kept whispering my name. It gave me chills to hear him say it, breathless and intense. My head was swimming, but that was fine because my body had completely taken over. It was like it knew exactly what to do and it led me to a point of climax that took whatever rational thought was left in my head away. His entire body tensed and convulsed then, and he shuddered and collapsed on top of me. I could feel him trying to catch his breath, and his heart as it pounded against his chest…or was that mine? He tried to move, thinking he was crushing me, but I clutched onto him, wanting to keep him right there with nothing between our hearts but skin that glistened with the sweat of our lovemaking.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  BROCK

  My
whole left side was numb. It was like right after my first surgery on my head, I couldn’t move my left arm, and my left leg was completely uncooperative as well. Except that time I had a brain tumor and this time I have the most beautiful girl in the world laying on me, naked. This time wasn’t like that one at all. I just wanted to mention the part about the most beautiful girl in the world being naked in my bed.

  “Good morning,” she said with a sleepy smile.

  “Good morning beautiful,” I said, kissing her on top of the head. Even first thing in the morning she was gorgeous. She looked happy and peaceful. I was glad. I had been afraid that she would be having regrets after last night. I ran my fingers up and down her arm. Her skin was so soft. She was lying against me and I took my hand and started running it down her back. When I got to the lower right side, I could feel a tiny little scar. I wasn’t thinking, just running my fingers across the texture of it and she said, “That’s where they took my kidney out.” I didn’t say anything; I just kept rubbing her back. I had seen the scar on her chest last night from her Meta-port. I knew that’s what it was, because I had the same one. Mine had refused to work how it was supposed to though, and after a while they had just taken it out and started using PICC lines or IV’s to give me my chemo. It ruined my veins and scarred up my arms. As far as surgical scars go though, I was lucky…once my hair grew back.

  “Hey Molly,” I said. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  She propped herself up on her elbow and looked at my face. Smiling she said, “Since I’m naked in your bed, I certainly hope so.”

  “Have your doctors ever thought about putting you on the transplant list?”

  Her face changed…just slightly, and I was afraid I had upset her. Then she said, “They haven’t talked about it yet. As long as one kidney is functioning, I’m not really eligible anyways.”

  “Is the other one okay?” I asked her.

  “So far,” she said. She looked away from my eyes and down at the pillow on the bed when she said it. I suspected there was more to it, but she didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Then she said, “Actually, the one I have left is acting up a little, but we’re taking care of it.” I hugged her tight and said, “Good. I’d like you to be around for a while…a long while.” She smiled then and said, “What about yours? Are you doing okay?”

  “Yeah, not bad,” I told her. “It goes away and comes back. Right now, it seems to be shrinking some, so not bad.”

  “Good,” she said, making my stomach flutter with her next words. “I’d like for you to be around for a long while too.”

  I hugged her again, God she felt good. “Do you have class today?” I asked her.

  “Yeah,” she said, “But not until noon. I have Physics lab this afternoon. That’s the only class I have, but it’s three hours long, ugh!”

  I smiled. “You can go to my Music History class and I’ll go to Physics lab for you,” I told her.

  “Really?” she said.

  “Yeah,” I told her. “I think I really would. It would do you absolutely no good though. I blew up every beaker I touched in high school. My science teacher was not amused.”

  Molly laughed, “I was the nerd that everyone wanted to partner up with. Then they’d sit back and let me do all of the projects.”

  “That’s terrible,” I told her.

  “That I was a nerd?” she asked.

  “No, that you didn’t go to my high school so I had someone to do my projects for me.”

  She laughed and said, “So what was Jake like in high school?”

  “Exactly like he is now,” I told her. “Jake is good at every sport he ever tried out for, just naturally, and for whatever reason the girls all loved him too. He does nothing for me. Anyways, somehow he never let any of that go to his head though. He was just always Jake, and he was the only one who never treated me different after I got sick.”

  “Megan was like that for me. She would come to the hospital every day and tell me what was going on at school and who was dating who and who hated who and who was wearing what. She made me laugh and forget about everything that I was going through for a little while. She loved me, but she didn’t feel sorry for me. She just always stayed close until I was better, and then once I was we went on with life as we had always known it.”

  I laughed softly.

  “What?” she said.

  “I was just thinking how weird it was that it seemed like we were living parallel lives all of those years before we even knew each other.” She thought about that for a minute and said, “Maybe it was all leading us to here.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  MOLLY

  While Brock and I lay talking in bed, I could hear Jake moving around in the apartment.

  “Does he have class today?”

  Brock looked at the clock, it was seven forty-five. “He must,” he said, “or he would never be up this early.”

  “Can I stay in here until he leaves?”

  I knew he would know, because since I didn’t go home last night, Megan will know. What Megan knows, Jake knows…for the most part.

  Brock kissed me. I hated thinking about all of the kisses I’ve missed by holding out for so long. I loved his lips, and the rest of the body they were attached to. He was so kind and gentle, but at the same time he was all man. I shuddered, just thinking about last night.

  “You can stay forever,” he said. Then he quickly changed the subject, like he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “I’ll go make breakfast and see if I can hurry him up. I’ll let you know when it’s all clear.”

  I kissed him back. I really liked this whole kissing thing and I hoped I wasn’t developing a dependency on it. What if I suddenly became like Megan and I couldn’t go five minutes without one?

  “Thank you,” I told him, truly grateful that he was such a sweet guy.

  Brock slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt and then he took a long-sleeved shirt out of his closet and said, “If you don’t want to get all dressed up in your pretty skirt and blouse for breakfast, you can wear this.”

  “Thanks,” I said. After he had gone, I rolled on my back and stretched. I couldn’t stop smiling. I rolled over onto his pillow and breathed in his scent. I suddenly wanted to kiss him again.

  I finally forced myself to get up a little bit later. I put on the shirt he left for me. It was long, stopping just below my knees and definitely more comfortable than putting my skirt and blouse back on would have been. I heard Jake call out, “See you later,” and then Brock said, a little too loudly, “Okay, Buddy! Have a good day.” That’s okay though, Jake probably wouldn’t get it anyways. I poked my head out the door and said, “Is the coast clear?”

  “All clear,” he said. He was standing at the island in the kitchen slicing something or other. I came out of the bedroom and went into the bathroom. I had to at least finger-brush my teeth. I wanted to be prepared in case the opportunity arose again for a kiss.

  Once I was looking vaguely human, I went out to the kitchen. Brock was still chopping and he looked up at me as I came down the hall and grinned.

  “Mm, that shirt sure does look a lot better on you than it does on me,” he said. I felt my face flush and mumbled some kind of thank you. It was silly, I told myself. A girl who just woke up naked next to this guy shouldn’t be acting shy about wearing his shirt.

  “It smells good in here,” I said, deftly changing the subject. “What are you cooking?”

  “I made egg-white omelets with mushrooms and bell peppers and fat-free cheese,” he said.

  “Wow, maybe you should be a chef instead of a musician,” I said, taking a seat at the counter.

  “Quick, which would you rather, me sing to you or cook for you?”

  “Sing,” I answered without hesitation.

  He grinned, “I was hoping that would be the answer. I like to cook, but I live to sing.” To prove it, he started singing. I don’t even know the name of the song, or who the artist was, but it
was once again, beautiful. As he sang he worked and when he went to the refrigerator to get something out he grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to me.

  I smiled. “Thank you. You don’t have to take care of me, you know.”

  “Oh, I know. I’ve seen you do a mighty fine job on your own. Sometimes it’s nice to have a little help though, isn’t it?”

  “Yes,” I told him as I opened the water and took a healthy drink of it. I think I needed it. I had barely been able to pee this morning. Dr. Harris was not going to be happy with my output unless it got better than this.

  Brock put our omelets on a plate and added a side of toast. He sat one plate in front of me, and the other in front of the other barstool. “You want some juice?” he asked me.

  “Is it green?” I asked. I wasn’t heartily against green juice, but I wasn’t what you could call a fan of it either.

  “No, it’s peach mango,” he said with a grin.

  “Then yes please,” I told him.

  He sat down and when he did, he just reached out and lightly touched my hair. It was barely even a touch, more like a breeze from the motion of his hand, but it gave me goosebumps nonetheless. It was the intimacy of it. The fact that we had made love last night had forged an already forming bond even deeper. I liked it. While we ate, I asked him about his family.

  “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” I asked him.

  “I have a half-brother,” he said. “He’s a great kid, but I don’t get to see him that often. He lives in London with our mother.”