Beautiful Tragedy (A Standalone Romance Novel) Page 3

  Now baseball…there’s a sport that makes sense. It’s played outdoors as well, but during the spring and summer when normal people want to be outdoors. It’s also a hell of a lot easier to understand. One could even go so far as to say that it’s self-explanatory. But football sucks, and although I won’t admit it to Megan or Jake, I only agreed to go because I actually want to see Brock again. It’s crazy, I know. I don’t want a boyfriend; I categorically do not. But there’s just something about this guy. Maybe I just want to get to know him better to find out what it is he’s always amused about? Or hey, maybe I just want to see him. I’m human, right? He’s hot, so there you have it.

  I got back to my dorm, and Megan had left a note. It said, “Gone to pick up Jake and Brock.” I pulled things out of my closet, trying to decide what to wear and glad that Megan wasn’t here to see me. If she saw me going through my clothes acting like I was getting ready for the senior prom, she would take that to mean she was right and I really did like this guy. She would never believe that it was more curiosity than anything. I just don’t know that much about guys my age. We could call it research.

  It wasn’t that I was a dork in high school or anything when I was supposed to be practicing for the real world. Actually…before I got sick, I was pretty popular. Things just got weird after that. The summer before my junior year, about the time Grandma thought I was old enough to date, I was diagnosed with a tumor on one of my kidneys. They went in to take the tumor, but found out that it had damaged the kidney too badly to save it, and they’d had to take the entire kidney out. I was a little freaked out by that at first, but the doctors assured me that it was fine, and anyone could live on only one kidney.

  After they took it out, they did a few rounds of chemo just in case. I lost my hair and everyone at school knew I had been sick. Grandma bought me a wig and I would wear it every morning to make her feel better, but before I got to school I would take it off and put a scarf over my head. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she had bought me a wig in bold nineteen-eighties style. Everybody still tried really hard to be nice; I guess I have to give them credit for that. It was weird though, an awkward kind of nice. People who had never spoken to me before would give me that piercing look and say, “How are you, Molly? Really?” Again, they were just being nice, but it annoyed me.

  In my senior year, just as my hair had finally grown out enough so I no longer looked like Peter Pan, they found a tumor on my left kidney…as in the only one I had left. So most of that year was spent with more chemo and radiation. The tumor was stubborn, and although it was small and it seemed to grow slowly, it just wasn’t going to go away. That was the reason I decided to go to school here. My doctor had found out that they were having a lot of success in their experimental treatments of my kind of cancer. So here I am…a guinea pig with one missing kidney and one bum kidney. I do my best to live and act normally; that’s why I don’t want anyone here to know except Megan. She’s never treated me any differently. She was just always my friend and things never got uncomfortable.

  But if I were to have a boyfriend, I don’t think this would be something I could keep hidden forever. I mean at some point when I was sick from the medications or refusing to eat ice cream because the dairy doesn’t sit well with me, he was liable to ask questions…wasn’t he?

  I pulled on my red sweater and my favorite pair of jeans. Looking at myself in the mirror I thought, “Good enough.” Then I threw on a knit hat my grandma made me and grabbed my red coat and I was ready to go. I stuffed all the other clothes back into the closet so that when Megan came home, she would never know. And speaking of the devil, she came bounding in just as I tossed in the last pair of jeans and closed the closet door.

  “Hey, Molly. Are you ready?”

  “I’m ready. Where’s Jake?” What I really meant was; where’s Jake’s friend? But it may have been rude to phrase it that way.

  “He’s in the car. He says that Brock was doing something, but he was going to meet us there. I hope he doesn’t flake.”

  “Oh well, if he does it’s no big deal,” I told her. I was trying to sound casual but Megan knew me too well.

  “Sure,” she said with a grin. “That’s why you look so cute, because it’s no big deal.”

  “Shut up,” I told her.

  “Okay,” she said, still grinning. “Let’s go.”

  I followed her out the door, wondering what the hell I was doing. I was also wondering what Brock was doing. Did he change outfits three times before he left too? I laughed at the thought.

  “What’s so funny?” Megan said.

  “Oh nothing,” I told her.

  I got into the back seat of Megan’s Honda Civic and I said hello to Jake. He immediately said, “Brock’s coming. He was finishing something up, but he’ll be there.”

  “Yippee!” I said, sarcastically…I hoped.

  “He likes you, Molly.” Jake said.

  “How nice for him.” That time the tone was acerbic, I was sure of it.

  He turned around in his seat as Molly pulled away from the curb.

  “You know, Brock could have any girl he wanted.” Jake said, suddenly incensed with the need to stick up for his friend. “It’s a compliment that he likes you so much after you only met once.”

  “But of course, I’m thrilled,” I told him with a grin. I knew that I should be nicer to Jake. After all, he was Megan’s knight in shining armor. It was fun to poke at him though. I always made sure not to pierce the armor…

  The football stadium was only a few blocks away, but it was going to be super cold tonight, so Megan had wanted to drive. We were all regretting it now, however, as we made our way around the lot for the third time. Finally she decided to park on the street. We could hear kick-off taking place as we hurried towards the entry gate. There was a sudden roar of a motorcycle, and then Jake stopped walking and waved. I looked in that direction and saw Brock, on a red Harley. Of course he had a Harley. It wasn’t enough that he was gorgeous, he could sing, he could play the guitar and he seemed really nice, he had to have a Harley too. I watched as he swung it into a small space reserved for motorcycles and parked. As he had on stage singing, sitting at the taco stand, walking me home, and watching as I went inside the dorm, he looked amazing. I could feel my heart actually speed up in my chest. I was afraid that it was beating so fast and so hard that if you looked directly at it, my sweater and coat would be moving in and out too. This was ridiculous.

  We stood and waited for him to saunter over in his black leather jacket and dark shades that I personally didn’t care for. I preferred the blue eyes. When he got closer and pulled off the shades, I physically jumped. I suddenly worried that he could hear my thoughts. How messed up would that be?

  He and Jake did their stupid guy bump thing, like maybe they didn’t just see each other before they left the house. Then he looked at Megan and me. I don’t know if it’s my imagination or not, but those blue eyes seemed to linger on mine a little longer than they had on Meg’s.

  “Hey Megan, Molly.”

  Megan and I both said hi, and we all headed for the entrance. The game was well into the first quarter by then and the stadium was packed. Our seats were pretty good ones, but they were in the middle of a row and I think we slightly pissed off a few of the people we had to step over and push past. As we got closer to where we’d be sitting, I felt a hand on the small of my back, helping to guide me. It was Brock’s hand, and my silly brain thought that I could actually feel his body heat searing through my coat and sweater onto my back.

  I dropped down into the seat next to Molly, and Brock took the one on the other side of me. He grinned at me then, and again I had to wonder what was always so amusing to this guy. Maybe when you were gorgeous and young and healthy and musically inclined, you just never had any reason to not be happy.

  I feigned watching the game for a while, because just having him sitting so close with his arm brushing lightly against mine left me afraid to open my m
outh, not trusting what might rush out. Sometimes my brain forgot that the opening of my mouth was the key to engage. Finally, leaning close enough that I could feel his breath on my face Brock said, “You look cold.”

  Again, stating the obvious, but at least he was trying. “I’m freezing,” I said, trying to smile through the tightness of my face. The sun had just started to go down and a cold wind was kicking in. I felt ashamed that I was still glad I came, however.

  “Do you want some hot chocolate?”

  I thought about that. Chocolate wasn’t really on my diet, although the nutritionist did tell me that I could indulge every once in a while as long as I didn’t overdo it. I also like the idea that he cared enough to offer. “That sounds good, thanks.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  I watched then as he risked his life, once again crossing in front of the dedicated fans. Brock smiled at them all, and I realized then that females weren’t the only ones affected by his blue eyes and boy-next-door grin, and I also realized as I watched him, that he knew it.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  BROCK

  I made my way down the crowded aisle, trying not to tramp on anyone’s foot. Towards the end there was a guy who looked like a recent football alumni, sitting with his girlfriend. The guy had to be at least two-twenty and his arms looked like the trunks of medium sized trees. His girlfriend was petite and blonde, and she was smiling at me. Why would a woman want to put me in harm’s way like that? Instead of looking directly at her as I passed, I smiled at the big guy and said, “Excuse me.” He stood up then, all six foot four of him and sucked in his gut so I could pass. He smiled back too. I guess my strategy worked.

  I made my way to the concession stand thinking about Molly. I hadn’t planned on liking her so much, but it wasn’t my fault. She was so damned cute in her red sweater and little knit beret. Her poor little freckled nose was as red as her coat though, and she looked miserable. I considered putting my arm around her, just to keep her warm. But then I had thought about the hot chocolate and thought being told “No” about that would feel like less of a rejection.

  The line at the concession stand was long and as I stepped behind a grandpa and his grandkids I heard a familiar voice. It was Tammy…the stalker.

  “Hey Brock.”

  She sidled up next to me and said, “I thought you said you hated football.”

  This is what I had told her, and in my defense it’s mostly true. Tammy was a cheerleader last year. I hadn’t gotten the story about why she wasn’t on the squad again this year, but last year she used to invite me to the games every time I saw her. I tried making excuses at first, but when at last I ran out of them I had just straight up told her…I don’t like football. She had still tried to persuade me, but I had stuck with my convictions.

  “Hey, Tammy. I still don’t like football. I just agreed to come with some friends.”

  “Oh, are you with that girl I saw you with the other night?” She asked the question like she had some right to know. I literally went out with this girl twice. She acted like she was my ex-wife or something. Move over Glen Close, there’s a new stalker in town.

  “Yes, actually. Her name’s Molly,” I said. Just the sound of her name made me smile. “She’s one of Megan’s good friends.”

  “Oh,” Tammy said in that holier-than-thou way Tammy had about her. It suddenly dawned on me; Tammy didn’t like Megan, at all. Back at the beginning of the summer, after I had brushed her off more than dandruff off a black coat, she had met Jake. He’d just started here, and Tammy didn’t know that he was my roommate. They had a class together, and she set her sights on him. Jake wasn’t interested, but he’s a polite guy, so he didn’t tell her so…until he met Megan. He came to one of my shows about a week after he’d met Tammy. Megan was there with a friend, and as they say…the rest is history. He straight up told Tammy to her face about a week later that he wasn’t interested. She, of course, blamed Megan for “moving in on him,” and pretty much tried to have her blackballed from everything on campus. To Megan’s credit, she didn’t get rifled at all over it. She just kept being her sweet self and people liked her of her own accord, in spite of Tammy’s jealous protestations.

  As Tammy opened her mouth once again, the guy behind me said, “I’m sorry, but weren’t you behind me?” Tammy looked embarrassed and appalled that this guy would have the audacity to call her on it. The guy suddenly became my new best friend. I mean, I actually for the first time in my life (and hopefully the last) thought about full-on kissing this guy on the mouth. Tammy looked at me, expecting me to help, so I did. I smiled at the wonderful man and said, “I think you’re right. She was behind you.” It may have been the cold, but I swear I saw smoke shoot out of her ears as she went back to her spot in the long line. By the time I got mine and Molly’s hot chocolate and turned around to head back to our seats, she had decided to turn her back on me. The cold shoulder…how refreshing, I thought with a grin.

  When I got to our row this time, I didn’t even have to smile at big boy again. He not only got to his feet to allow me past, but he pulled his skinny girlfriend up with him. Molly was watching me as I approached and I handed the cocoa to her and said, “I’m sorry. The line was ridiculous.”

  “That’s okay,” she said, “I stopped being able to feel my hands and feet so long ago that I wasn’t even sure how much time had passed.”

  I sat down and as I did, her arm brushed against mine. Okay, the fact of the matter was that her wool coat sleeve brushed against my leather jacket sleeve. It still gave me a little thrill, and since it was cheap, I’ll take it. “What did I miss?” I asked her.

  Without missing a beat she said, “The quarterback ran a Statue of Liberty play and the running back went for an eighty-five yard touchdown.”

  “Really?” I said.

  “No,” she said with a grin, “I don’t have any idea what I even just said.”

  I laughed, “Wow, you sounded so convincing.”

  “I am looking forward to the half-time show,” she said, sipping her cocoa.

  “Why? Who’s playing?” I asked her.

  “Oh, I don’t know, I just have to pee.”

  This girl is something else. I was now not only surprised that I came to a football game, but I was also surprised that I was so happy about it. I’m sure I must look like an idiot, sitting here with a grin on my face that looked like I’d slept with a coat hanger in my mouth the night before. But, I couldn’t stop smiling and she made me not even care about that.

  I pretended that I had to pee too, just so I could walk with her to the bathrooms. I waited outside for her, and since the women’s restroom line looked as bad as the concession stand, I was in for a long wait. As I leaned up against the brick wall next to the bathrooms, I saw a guy I used to play set with in a club the summer before last.

  “Hey! Brock! How the hell are you man?”

  “I’m doing well Joe. How are you?”

  “I’m fantastic man. I’ve wanted to get a hold of you, but I lost your number. It’s amazing I ran into you like this! I’m playing at Aqua and I need a good vocalist. Well, my band has a trial run at Aqua and if it goes well, we’ll be officially offered the gig. Are you available?” Aqua was a new night club in town, and it was turning out to be a really popular one. Even if I wasn’t available I would have said yes.

  “Hell yes, I’m available. When?”

  Joe laughed, “We start next weekend. I was going to have a listen to a female singer that my keyboard guy recommended on Tuesday, and then we’ll probably jam together on Wednesday. The wife sings too but she doesn’t want to commit to it every weekend. I know you’re going to school man, but it will all be in the evening. I know you’re good, if I like the girl maybe we can work out a schedule if we get the full gig.”

  I was ecstatic. If it had been during the day, I was ready to quit school. Not really, but hell yes! I was going to be singing at the hottest club in town. “Where are you getting together?”


  Joe handed me a card with an address on it. “It’s a storage garage; my brother-in-law owns it. It keeps us from getting kicked out of our neighborhood, so the wife likes me to run practices there.”

  A voice cut in from out of nowhere, “You got that right. Last time he practiced in the garage I think three people called the cops.” It was his wife Lyndie. I always liked her. She and Joe had gotten married young. They weren’t even thirty yet and had already been married ten years and had a couple of kids.

  “Maybe it wasn’t the volume they were complaining about…if you know what I mean,” I said with a laugh.

  “Hey boy, watch yourself if you want to play with me.” Joe barked, but with a grin.

  I said hello officially to Lyndie and we chatted for a few minutes before they left to go back to their seats. I must have still been grinning when Molly came back out because she looked around and said, “What is so dang funny? You’re always grinning like the Cheshire Cat.”

  I wanted to hug someone I was so excited, and I really wanted it to be her. I didn’t go there though, not yet. I didn’t want to scare her away already. Instead, I told her about Joe and the club.

  “Wow, that’s great,” she said, seeming genuinely happy for me. “Aqua is supposed to be a really fun place.”

  “I went there the night they opened. It’s nice. They didn’t have a very good band though,” I said. I couldn’t help grinning again, thinking about me and my guitar on the stage.

  “I’m happy for you,” she said. “Will you do me a favor?” she asked as we got close to our bleachers.

  “Sure,” Anything….

  “Will you tell Megan I’m going to take off now? I’m just too cold to enjoy this.”

  “Okay…didn’t you ride with them though?”

  “Yeah, it’s not that far though, just a few blocks. I can walk.”